You know, it’s Sunday. What do Christians usually do on Sundays? Yeah, church. I wanted to go this week. Just like I wanted to go last week. And the week before. I’m very sick with myself right now. Every Saturday night, I seem to find some reason to stay up really late, and then it’s like, “oh man, I have to sleep in, other wise I won’t be rested and church will be bad, and I’ll be tired for work too.” I’m so sick of this attitude. The idea that I’m too lazy to go and praise the One who loves me more than anything sickens me. I don’t know what to do about it, but I do know what else it will result in. No Bible study. Yeah, so Bible study is Tuesdays at 7. I’ve gone once, but feel out of place going to a study filled with people that go to the college/young professionals class at 9 on Sundays. You know, the class I skip? So in order to go when I skip I’d have to get over my fear that I’ll show up and no one will be there that week and I would have known if I’d gone to class (not that they’d make me feel embarrassed, they’re wonderful, but I’d make myself feel embarrassed). I thought there was another fear here too, but I seem to have forgotten it at the moment. Anyway, such a fear should be immaterial in sight of the fact that I’d be going to learn about the creator of the universe! But no, such fears rule me, and it just makes me so disappointed with myself.
Finally, confessed and out in the open. I needed to do that in order to both ask for forgiveness (already received from Him) as well as move on to fixing this behavior.

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